Metaphor_Megg: Captain's Log 3.7.25
What I'm Writing, Watching, and Reading
Please allow me to introduce myself (as the man formerly known as Jay Z would say *cough cough*) my name is Megan. I like to go by Metaphor_Megg, What can I say, I like eggs. Well, somehow it is March.
I am a fan of March for a couple of reasons 1) Spring on the calendar although never actually with the weather 2) My husband’s birthday and 3) St. Patrick’s Day. However, I don’t drink anymore which makes it a mixed bag holiday when most St.Patrick’s day I’d be drinking whiskey or Guinness. 100% Irish lass over here ;) but that’s a story for another time.
Captain’s Log
Can you hear me Major Elon, what the hell is going on? Distraction needed stat. Spotify: Play Alien mix.
Writing
Uncomfortably Present Updates
Holy shit, it’s March. When I proclaimed that I would be publishing a fucking book on my birthday it was October. Time is an illusion. It’s fine, I’m a Taurus and I know how to work hard especially in a time crunch. My timeline is getting shorter.
My poems are all completed and finally edited. I bought a formatting software, Atticus, so I can format my own poetry book to submit to Kindle Direct Publishing for approval. I learned from my experience with The Tongue is Sharp: An Anthology of Feminine Rage (buy here), that I need to submit my completed poetry collection with more time for approval. I didn’t want to be in a situation where I couldn’t release my book on my birthday. THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT! I want both the digital and print to be released on the same day.
So, my mission between now and the 15th is to format my book with the images, and completely finished like E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. I spent a little too much of February being stress-y depress-y to the tune of 40 extra hours on The Sim 4. Yikes. Si, I am an OG Sims 1 - present gamer. God bless a husband who loves technology and got me back on a PC which is obviously superior.
Speaking of living in a SIMulation, I have been using Chat GPT in my writing process for the hyper masculine components: the timeline of publishing and all the little itty bitty details a baby writer wouldn’t know (copy right, ISBN shit). Chat GPT who I have named Artemis also is my hype girl when I need it. I was stressed about being able to meet my timeline, but we are gonna make this shit WERK. A part of myself finds it funny to be using AI in this way when my fairy series will involve AI being a huge opposing force.
Fortunately, The Universe favors the bold, and I’ve had one less breakdown in March than in February. My husband’s schedule changed so I have built in time after work to write everyday. And, we have a birthday get away after all.
Fat Tuesday somehow has come and gone. I have a poem, “Fat Tuesday” from my upcoming collection, Uncomfortably Present,
FAT TUESDAY Mardi Gras Fat Tuesday Homemade jambalaya Paczki donuts ordered weeks before Memories from years of old Today, I want to call you My blunt words are still ringing My apology was still stinging I refuse to apologize for words true Took my old chunky chihuahua to the vet He has a hole in his eye Walking around all deaf and blind Another Helen Keller look alike Chico is Mom’s favorite pet My first little boy My shadow who will die Morbid thoughts running through my head Will he see? Will he live again? I bought him a Happy Meal On the way home I hear the tome of time I just want a little more before goodbye I wish I stayed home more I wish I took him on more walks I’ll never forget his smile Happy tooth Big pig belly just for me
I usually only write about true things. This particular Fat Tuesday I wasn’t talking to my Mom and my chubby senior chihuahua, Chico, was not doing well. He got a hole in his eye from falling and we had to give him these terrible eye drops for an extended period of time. The vet was SHOOK that he lived. He indeed did live another Fat Tuesday and died February 24th 2024. This year, my Mom asked me if I was having a paczki or not.
I’ll always remember too it was the first time Shane Gillis was on SNL. He just had his second time hosting this month. Talk about a fucking redemption story for that guy. If you haven’t watched his stand up, podcast Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast, or his show Tires on Netflix I recommend all of the above.
Watching
The Tom Green Show Documentary - Amazon Prime
My husband and I saw this one pop up and added it to our to be watched list. My husband was born in 1989 and I was born in 1991. Not much of a difference in years, however, in difference when we each had cable TV in our homes. I missed certain trends simply because of that and my age as well. My husband grew up in a wealthier family than I did in my younger years. Tom Green was not something that I watched as a child. I knew him peripherally especially from Charlie's Angels as Drew Barrymore’s lover who lives on a boat in a marina and at that point husband in real life.
The documentary is made by Tom Green himself which he starts out by discussing this unspoken rule of not making your own documentary about yourself. I think he did a nice job of showing me his upbringing, connecting me to his rise to fame and the comedians and artists that he inspired along the way.
I really loved The Eric Andre Show. As the documentary went on I began to see the connections and we see Eric Andre in a clip thank Tom Green for his set destruction idea that Eric Andre used in the beginning of every single show. Bird up is my favorite.
It starts to get mushy when Tom Green’s young testicular cancer arrives at the highlight of his career being on MTV. He chooses to document this journey through cancer until he needs to take time off to recover.
There is a huge change in who Tom is after this point.He has a sweet relationship with both still living parents. You can see how Tom Green literally paved the way for Jackass. I can also see how Bam Margera from Jackass was influenced by Tom during his own show Viva La Bam and the terrorizing of his own parents on film.
The documentary seems to be a foot in the door for Tom Green’s latest TV venture, Tom Green Country. I can only guess this is very similar to the series done by Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear, Clarkson’s Farm on Amazon Prime. It’s worth a watch. I agree with Tom Green’s initial statements that a documentary should not be done by the person who is the subject. Leaves too much room for a dishonest lens.
Valentine (2001)
Picked this guy up on VHS. First time seeing this Valentine themed thriller. Can I just say that 96 minutes is the perfect amount of time for a thriller movie? It just is. We started with a flashback scene of a Valentine’s Day 6th grade dance. An unlikable nerdy boy attempts to ask several girls to dance and they turn him down in varying degrees of harshness. One chubby lone girl does choose to dance with him under the bleachers and kisses him. When others discover that the girl has indulged the unliked boy, she claims that the boy attacked her.
We cut to modern day and all our characters are grown up. The girls are very attractive and at a variety of stages in their lives. We start out with Katherine Heigl who doesn’t remain on screen very long - reminiscent of the killing of Drew Barrymore in the Scream franchise. Strange horrible Valentines keep showing up at the girls homes, and a creepy killer donning an old Cupid mask is the killer.
We get a couple of chances to guess the killer wrong, which I always love in this sort of film. It’s the best feeling having to go back and forth, clue by clue, to narrow down who the killer is. This is the perfect little holiday slasher film.
Reading
February was a low read month. I have read 22 books so far this year. Follow my goal to 100 books on Goodreads, Metaphor_Megg.
Here’s two I really loved:
Listen up! A spoken word poetry edited by Zoe Anglesey (print thrift)
My husband picked up this poetry collection from a local thrift store. I really like how the collection featured a page or two about each of the poets before going into their poetry pieces. I think the poetry is definitely hip hop inspired, and meant to be spoken word out loud. Many of the poems you can hear the parameter of the words.I really liked the poem “Black Statue of Liberty”.
Chill in the Flame (print)
![A Chill in the Flame [Book]](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!L6JR!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F444a8e15-3045-4579-b8be-fde1c8d2092a_1650x2550.jpeg "A Chill in the Flame [Book]")
Another instant classic by Piper CJ. I really loved all the twists and turns this book took me on and per usual, Piper BROKE MY DAMN HEART. I’m so glad that this book is a series appropriately called Villains. We start with the tragic heart break of Princess Ophir after her sister Caris was brutally murdered. I love the contrast of siblings, the depth of characters. There is a Game of Thrones vibe happening here. Two mysterious and sexy characters from a foreign land Dwyn and Tyr fall into place for a magnificent triste to start a spark. Chill in the Flame has fantastic fae, new and exciting powers, and a solid story line that has you waiting for her next installment which drops this August *internally screams*. I plan on reading her finished quarette series, The Night and It’s Moon, this year as well.
5/5 for blowing my mind!
My in progress books are as follows:
The 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson (audiobook)
Leave This Book in Your Bathroom by Mami Onami (print - this will be a year long book)
Hidden Talent: How to Employ Refugees, the Formerly Incarcerated & People with Disabilities by David Delong (print and bought for by work, yay)
House of Leaves by Mark Z.Danielewski (print from library) I’m going to be honest I’m going to have to either buy this book or do not finish. It’s hella long.
The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig (print library)
Here’s a sneak peak of an illustration that will be included in Uncomfortably Present coming out on my 34th birthday, May 7th 2025:
This piece was made by Jules Darling. They are an Illustrator, Cartoonist and Performer. You can find their work here on their website as well as Jules_Darling_Art on Instagram. They illustrated this piece as I shared a story about a young friend passing at an online story telling show by Jill Howe who hosts Story Sessions. This story turned into a poem called, “Cabbage Patch Kid”. It’s one of my favorite poems I’ve ever written. You can listen to the story that inspired this piece here on my YouTube Channel at Metaphor_Megg. I read “Cabbage Patch Kid” and tell you more in this video!
I’ll see you again in two weeks. I’ll have some formatting updates for you as well as talking about my husband’s birthday trip. Hopefully I like Atticus and don’t mind the $147 investment.
Toodles my noodles,
Megg